This Side Up ⬆️

It really was the hormones.   I went to the doctor, and had my annual check-up.   I told her I have been a bitch-on-wheels for at least 2 solid months, my period was almost a month late (but I'm not pregnant) , and I just can't take it anymore.   She gave me estrogen patches and progesterone pills.  21 days after starting, I felt peace.   I'm my old self again.  I feel like I've been away and I'm finally home.    It feels good to feel good!

I know it must have been startling at minimum to read that I was living a "Hallmark Movie life", then to read that I was feeling I was in cement box.   I write from my soul, honestly, about what is happening, what I'm thinking or experiencing.  This was all a part of it.

I would get furious when my husband would say it was hormones.   But part of me believed him, listening to him, tucked it away as a mental note.    My sister-in-law had gone through something similar, and her marriage ended over it.   I never forgot that.

I can't even fully convey how different, and "off" was feeling, and how different I feel now.   I feel like I was away, and now I'm back!  I have the life I've dreamed of.   I really do.  I'm not sugar-coating it.  It's REAL.  Friday I turn 50 years old.  I guess it's that time of my life.