For the longest time, I wanted to start a new blog, just so I can say all the things that are on my mind. A lot of the things are plans that H (my husband) and I have. But sometimes it's just a point of view I want to share. So, here I am, coming back to my blog, to keep the history of it all and show everyone just how much ones life can change in an instant. If you've read the older posts, either recently or in the past, you'll see that just by my mentioning my husband, things have changed a LOT. I won't leave you in the dark for long. There will be many future posts that tell exactly how my life changed so much. And what an adventure it was! But first, an opinion on love, life, and decisions.
Recently, I was supportive of a friend and "liked" her new blog. It turns out it was about her poly-amorous life. I had NO CLUE this was her life. It was a secret. I've heard of people living poly lives, but never understood it, and I didn't know a lot about it. It turns out there is a lot more to it than just opening the marriage to other partners. I've only known one couple who felt the need to open their marriage. Now I've been reading this blog. I keep telling H about it and he asks "Why are you reading that?" I think it makes him nervous, like I have a fascination for that lifestyle. But it shouldn't worry him. Sadly, in my personal opinion, it's like watching a train wreck in slow motion. I hope that is not the case, but I simply cannot understand how one can decide to marry, only to decide that you can't give them everything they need, or they can't give you everything you need. Maybe they married young and grew and changed? Maybe they settled, although I doubt it. Maybe they didn't know who they were to begin with. It's no ones fault. It just is. But as I read the words this woman posts almost every day, it's riddled with heartache and angst, I don't know if she can even see it. Sometimes she's in the glow of new love. Other times, she seems sad and lost. Is poly REALLY that mainstream? Maybe I'm too naive, but then again to each their own.
My marriage to H is 100% of what I've always dreamed of. He is the man of my dreams, and satisfies every single part of my being. He feeds my mind, my soul, my desire for family and home. We talk all the time, discussing many many subjects. We spoon all night long, every single night. We take care of each other, we love each other, we do things for each other. We laugh all the time. We have FUN. The kids love being here. It's a very happy home. There isn't any yelling, fighting, chaos, or unhappiness of any kind. The only thing lacking is living our professional dreams, which we are working on and planning, and have true timelines in place to bring our dreams to fruition. We are completely supportive of each other. We are two puzzle pieces, two peas in a pod, a team, a family. I have zero doubt that this is for life.
For instance, Sunday morning, I came downstairs to our happy pup greeting me, classical music playing, cinnamon in the air from H baking cinnamon streusel muffins for breakfast, the house nice and toasty from the first night of the furnace being on. It just makes my heart swell with such gratitude. Maybe we are still in honeymoon phase? I don't think so, though. Since day one of this relationship, it has gotten stronger, deeper, more potent each and every day. We're living a Hallmark Movie. That may be too saccharin, and a silly thought to some, but we are.#sorrynotsorry
I can't imagine H or I asking the other if we can see other people because we need "more". More WHAT? What more could there possibly be than what we already have?? We have everything that we could want or need. We will never take it for granted, and we will never forget what we have. It's far too precious.