I have never been more sure of what I am supposed to do in life, what my life should consist of, where I should be, than I have been today. It feels great to know. I had forgotten who I am. What is it I'm supposed to do? I'm meant to learn to do fun things and live a life worth living.
I am meant to get up every morning, go to work and have a normal life.
I am meant to learn to make my own Christmas cards and Valentines with items from Paper Source, using pretty embossing glitters and stamps.
I am meant to enjoy a cup of Sleepytime tea every night.
I am meant to bake cookies and cupcakes, decorated with colored sugar, the stuff that looks like freshly fallen snow glimmering in the moonlight.
I am meant to learn to knit so I can make pretty scarves to suit my mood and protect me from the chilly San Francisco fog and winter sea air.
I am meant to sleep in a nice, warm, comfy bed with fresh sheets and soft pillows, snuggled with my cats and maybe a boyfriend someday.
I am meant to make fresh waffles with a waffle iron on weekend mornings.
I'm meant to enjoy a great book while basking in the sun of the window seat of my quiet apartment.
This is the actual window seat in the apartment I want. I would make custom cushions for it, making it very comfy.
That is what my life is supposed to be. That is what my life will be very soon. Do you know why? Because that's who I am, not anyone or anything else.
I don't want to pollute this post by saying how I came to realize all of this. I will say: I am not meant to smoke cigarettes or be around any smokers, ever. (I have never even tried smoking and I'm very proud of that fact.) I am not meant to be in bad neighborhoods, scared for my safety. I don't break any laws. I don't do drugs. I file my taxes. I vote. I'm a good girl. And I deserve the good things and simple pleasures in life.
Now, for that cup of tea....